I am so tired, Johnny and I just got back from Sacramento, we drove all the way up there (about 2 hours) to drop off a set of papers and then came back… I am just glad to be home and out of the car!

I am so glad all of the reading, studding, quizzes and videos are over with at target. I actually start work on Friday we have to spend 20 hours working with some one, but that’s just fine because hopefully they will be able to show me how everything works and where everything is and all that good stuff. I am excited to finally start, but also nervous, I always feel so semiconscious and feel like people are gawking at me or poking fun at me or i look so bad its disgusting. I just hope everything goes fine and I don’t make my self look like a dumb ass you know???

I am thinking about getting my hair done… I need to get it trimmed a little but I really want to get purple highlights, My friend Shandi had hers done like that and it looked great with her dark brown hair, but I don’t know if I will do it or not… we will see. I want to get my nose pierced and have for the longest time but my mom I know will be so pissed, which whatever I am an adult I can do what I want, but Johnny doesn’t like the idea either… which really sucks because I would like to do it.

The weight loss things has been on the rocks, I am still trying but I cannot manage to stay focused it seems that refined sugar and bleached flour are my enemy I really have got to avoid them though… Which is so tough because any more just about everything has one or both and that leaves me with what leaves grass and fruit I can eat… oh yea salad too. sigh, i love sweet stuff too but I know I just cant have them and thats that.

I still haven’t got my period I just don’t feel pregnant, I really want to believe it didn’t come because I am pregnant but I don’t know if that will be the case, I am going to take a pregnancy test tonight and if i am not pregnant I am going to start on the lexapro sample my doctor gave me, hopefully that will help keep me from being depressed so I can do more and be more productive.

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