what a name for a band huh? I asked Johnny if he knew who they were and he tells me ” Yeah! Its a really popular jumpsuit people wear”.

Later on today my mom is supposed to come by to do a little scrapbooking and order a few things. I am so bored so hopefully she will come because I don’t want to be alone all day…

Its been a week and I still have my period… and today I think is the worst day yet. Major cramps and back ache… yuck. But oh well I would rather have it than not.

I am trying to lose another 10 pounds because maybe next month I will be able to get pregnant… wouldn’t that so figure? I just fixed up the extra room for all my scrapbooking stuff and then Id have to change it all for the baby… lol that would be fine, hopefully it would be a girl cause right now the room is pink… but if not oh well we’ll just have to paint it again!

Today sucked… Today we were supposed to go meet with the home owner and everything well the woman we have been working with had a death in the family so she couldnt be there and asked some one else to take her place… well the other woman agreed before realizing she has a schedule conflict so she had to resecedule… only she never got around to telling us but she did tell the home owner… so we go and they had no clue what we were talking about so fianlly we call the origional woman we were working with and she explained to them why we were there and found out what had happened… so that was a bit of a let down

The remainder of the day was spent running here and there getting things that needed to be done… done.

This may be TMI (period related)
Read the rest of this entry »

I dont know what the deal was… my options are gone now but atleast I can blog again!!!

I went to a scrapbook work shop today with my mother… I wasnt looking forward to it but I did get some pages done and it turned out ok. I just hate going places and interacting with people I never feel comfortable and I know it and I am afraid it shows so that just makes me more nervous etc.  I was able to complete 4 pages and they turned out really cute I want to scan them but my printer isnt 12 x 12…

Im to tired to finish this blog…

I haven’t been this depressed in a while… but tonight i don’t even know what do do with myself but I am flipping out… i’m hurt, i’m deeply sad and very angry. I hate that this is my life the same poo over and over and over its miserable and I am so sick of it… sometimes i don’t even know how i do anything any more i cant take this poo sometimes. I cant remember anything its like my mind refuses to function sometimes. I cant deal with how people treat me because if my depression and as much as I want to make an appointment to see some one i never remember to… there is always other poo going on. I am to depressed to keep my house clean. lately Johnny and I fight about it alot and I hate it because I so want to have the energy i need to maintain everything but they way I feel at the moment I honestly dont.

I think today I am down because my period I think is coming… its been 5 weeks yesterday since i posted about finally having some blood on my own… and woo hoo this is on its own too and before I got pregnant my period came every 5 weeks so maybe finally its coming back.

I have majorly slacked on my diet but I have maintained keeping the 11 pounds I have lost off which I am happy about but I really would like to lose another 10… or more.

Lately I never get the sleep I want to… or need to and am up all day but feel exausted but when i try to sleep I cant after i have woken up in the moring… I am so exausted right now.

I am so mad at wordpress right now… I cant post or edit anything and i cant get any help and the supposed support forum which really sucks. I dont want to lose my whole blog…

For now i guess i will be here…

We may be able to buy that house after all since the guy is willing to finance it himself and so no loan will be required, and the paymenst will be low… we will find out tuesday.