I am trying to not get my hopes up over the whole blood thing… after that night there was nothing until this morning and it was more and not just pink it was actually red which I was all excited over… I am hoping that my body is working its self out and in the next few days I will get a full fledged period… I am thinking maybe losing 10 pounds really helped… may be not but thats the only thing that I did different so thats the only thing I could pin it on… So I need to stay focused and continue losing weight and hopefully I can get pregnant once I am at a healthier weight.

Also I am so happy my last payment for one of the debts I have been paying on went through yesterday so that debt is wiped out! Woot, I am so happy about that now I can move on to the next as well as get the ones I told Brandon I would pay taken care of!

Also I have been looking at a few houses and talking to lenders and getting some infor mation so hopefully in 6 months to a year our credit debts will be cleared out and we will have several thousand to put down on a house etc.

As soon as I got home from Loretta’s house I went to the bathroom… and the toilet paper was redish pink, so maybe I am getting my period back on my own? I was so excited I called Johnny lol.

I Just want to be pregnant and I am sick of not having periods its been 3 years since Hannah died and my period never came back what the heck! Why I just want to know why and what can be done.

I know i need to go get that test done but i honestly don’t want to and am scared to death i want it to be explained to me verbally and to know if Johnny could at least go in and hold my hand.

I am trying to lose weight and have heard it will help but I don’t know… i feel like I’m flying blind here after seeing the doctors and I still don’t know a thing (insert screaming here).

I AM SO SICK OF THIS!!!!!