Ok I don’t know why everyone seems to think certain things about me… or assume them. I may have said something to the effect that I had no money… yea thats right no money in my pocket but my atm card always has at least $1000 dollars if i need it. Plus I have several thousand dollars in the savings. I have plenty of money. I don’t brag about everything I get or the amount of money I have because I know how it feels to not have the money that I do and its crappy when your barely making it and your friend has everything, some of my relatives and friends read this that don’t have a lot of money and I chose not to rub it in their face. But I am fine I have debts and I pay them every month, I have insurance, we generally have food… when we actually have time to go to the store. My mom thinks I have no money too… it drives me crazy because shes always saying why did you buy this how can you afford that, i guess because I don’t pay off my debts all at once but $500 plus dollars is enough its more than they asked so I think its alright.

Last night my so called friend Felicia called, to tell me she found out the sex of the baby, its a girl but she was rubbing in my face she was sort of snotty and made some comments like aren’t I jealous etc… Thats all she ever calls me for is to say poo like that and then suddenly she has to go if i try to talk, or she said oh let me call you back… and then never does.

I didnt get all teary eyed like I used to but I wasnt happy either. I though about everything for a long time and decided I am not going to take another dose of the clomid, because I need to lose weight, maybe thats not the problem but I know I would feel better about myself if I lost weight then I could go to the fertility doctor healthy and feeling good. After the first of the year I am going to start going to weight watchers, and I am going to hire a personal trainer for 2 or three times a week to meet with me and help me get in shape. I really want to have a baby but I also want to get pregnant and be healthy so that hopefully things will be fine. I also am going to go to driving school and then get my driver liscense so I can be more independant and not have to rely on other people having to take me places. I probably not do everything all at once but I really want to do them soon!