I know having another baby wont replace the one I lost but I so desperatly want a baby. I hate my body so much for all of this… I just want to get pregnant and have a healthy baby.
I don’t know what I will have to do to get pregnant… at this point I am not even sure I can any more. I hate to say that but after this long how else should I feel??? I took clomid this month and I hope it will work, if it doesn’t I think I will ask my doctor to bump up the amount. People keep saying be patient it will happen… I have been patient for 3 and a half years… I have been waiting to have a healthy baby to take home since I found out I was pregnant that has never happened. I want that. I don’t want to wait any more… but want to or not I have no choice! I was talking to an adoption agency yesterday about the requirements and the adoption process and I have no problem adopting a baby in fact in some ways for my life right now it makes more since. Maybe that is what I should be pursuing rather than having my own right now. I could always have one later or at least try once the child I adopted is 3 or 4. I honestly don’t know exactly what I am going to do but I have always wanted to adopt a child any way although I thought I would do that once I had already had a couple of kids of my own. But the more I think about it the more it seems to just fit, so maybe that is what I will be doing eventually…
I haven’t got any of my Christmas shopping done which I really need to, I am going with my mom later to shop a little, I don’t even know what I am getting people…
November 30th, 2006 at 9:31 pm
I know what you mean. People are always telling me that it will happen, just be patient. But have you noticed that the people that are telling you that already have children. It’s been 5 years for me and it doesn’t get any easier. It gets really frustrating at times.
December 1st, 2006 at 11:27 am
Sometimes Adoption just makes sense to you and only you. Actually, that’s how it happens most times. Almost everyone around you will be like god you are nuts, but you know what you want and need to do.
As for getting pregnant. I wondered if they ever gave you a complete diagnosis as to why it’s not happening. I kept not getting any clear cut answers and I kept going back and they’d say be patient you are young. Then when I finally had all those stupid tests I nailed down the issues. You totally remind me of myself in that the clomid taking and the progesterone and it kicked my ass sideways. I just wonder if you don’t have something like I did which was cloudy mucus and all it takes is an IUI and then you will have success?
December 1st, 2006 at 1:03 pm
What exactally was wrong when you finally found out? I still dont know whats causing the problem. But yesterday I finally got the call back from the nurse and its not even the one i usually see, but she basically told me she would up my clomid this month but after that I need to see a specialist… while the other nurse was like oh dont worry we will get this figured out… you have time your young.
I just wonder if she was just trying to play god and act like she could do anything maybe I should have been to a specialist in the first place… which is where I will be headed next after my second round of clomid.
The only thing i do know is all of my hormones are really low, they dont know why or what causes it though…
I have alwasy wanted to adopt so if thats what I have to do to have kids then I will. I just want the full experience with a healthy baby so i can have a better memory than what happened, but if i never have my own kids and can only adopt I am totally ok with that!
December 1st, 2006 at 10:57 pm
I second your opinion on adoption and felt the same way. I only went as far as I went to do it for my husband who also wanted to adopt but I think was fearful of the costs, and he was totally right in that one!
I had Clomid at one dose for a few months and clomid at another dose for a couple months. After that they figured out it wasn’t really doing anything for me. I have PCOS which causes my ovulations to be all screwy. So they say that 90% of women who take the meds for it for a year get pregnant after that year. It regulates you. I wouldn’t know as I didn’t try.
I did go to a Renal Endocrinologist which is what I’m assuming the specialist will be. That’s where all the fun tests go on. They do a hsg like histosalpingograph or something like that. It was complete and total hell for me and inconclusive. I probably have one entire blocked left ovary from scar tissue, but you can have a seizing effect when the test happens and they will say it could have been inconclusive. I tend to think that I have the scar tissue because that is where all my pain has always been is the left side. It’s basically shooting dye in you to get a good xray. And it’s said that most women will get pregnant the very next cycle because it can sort of clean you out.
But they do all these tests with just urine and stuff that are really simple and that’s when they figured out I had thick mucus. I’m thinking it was a urine test after my ovulation stick turned or something equally as simple. So the fix was have the tech put the sperm to the eggs with an IUI. It only cost about $300 a month which isn’t really cheap but it if works after a couple months then it’s worth it.
I also had started to do injections because I was really stressed out and really just sick of it. Plus my father in law was in the hospital at the time dying and in a coma so I really think it just wasn’t my time.
Just please if you want to adopt don’t do it from foster care. It’s hell on wheels. After all the emotional baggage that the meds gave me, because I really feel like hormonally they’ve screwed me up at times, it just wasn’t something I wanted to deal with.
You should look into Columbia. Isn’t Johnny Latin? That probably means they’d expedite you and get you in quicker at least they do that for China. So I assume all countries do it. It’s pretty affordable and you can get 3 months old and up.
So yeah I have a ton of things wrong with me. Cloudy mucus, PCOS, a clogged ovary, and all in all bad timing. Honestly, with all that going on there still wasn’t any reason they could not have gotten me pregnant. So I don’t think she was speaking out of line or anything she probably honestly thinks you can be helped.
December 2nd, 2006 at 12:49 am
Right now from the blood tests and ultrasound they said my hormones were very low and my uterus looks fine… they dont know what caused the low hormones or my period to stop but I think maybe it was going in to labor… or at least dialating way to early and have an emergency c-section and maybe it confused my body or something I hoenstly have no clue and neither does my doctor… I have heard that this can be caused by being over weight and so if I lost 10 or 15 pounds it may help… so I think I will work on that as I take my clomid and just see for now.
Johnny is from portugal and I dont know if they would be helpful in adopting or not but thats probably not a bad idea to look into so when we get to that step that would be a good thing for us to consider.
December 2nd, 2006 at 11:46 am
well they always say that weight can cause this stuff to happen. My own personal family doc’s wife could not get pregnant and she had a ton of tests and found out one hormone was low, they gave her a pill and they have like 5 kids now. They are Catholic so they aren’t refraining I don’t think.
It never hurts to try and lose a couple pounds and boost your self esteem, then things tend to happen.