I cant believe it… Getting married is now on hold for atleast 2 months due to the fact that the person who took my divorce papers screwed up and didnt turn in a judgment paper and just filed everything so now it will be about 8 weeks before Brandon and I will offically be divorced!!!

Other than that really nothing is new, I guess it will be nice when Johnny and I finally can get married we will only need money for food and the hotel since pretty much everything else has been bought.

Finally this week Johnny and I will be finishing painting the office, as well as building a huge 2 person desk along with a nice roomy hutch to fit all my scrapbooking stuff. This week is going to be busy with all of the little projects we have planned for the week… but thats fine at least I will have somthing to keep me busy!

Ok maybe everyone things the ring I chose was just way to much for me… but for one I was going to get a cheaper one but Johnny insisted on me getting the one I really wanted. My trade in was about $3000 all thogether and so the rings only ended up costing $2600 and there is no intrest until 2008 plus he had $600 for it so its only $2000 now and it will be paid off by january. I think one thing people keep thinking I am super poor and cant afford things, and that may be partly my fault because I get over dramatic. When I say I am broke that means I have about $100 and plus I have $2500 in my savings for emergencys etc… I try to avoid touching it because I may really need it someday.

I dont work at ricos any more, because of the managers bullshit. He is totally full of it. For one all the time he spouts off about how he is always honest when several times I caught him in a lie. Two he always goes on and on about if he has a problem with you he will tell you… another lie. Ok here is the deal, Rick asked me to do the dishes sunday night, I did all but 2 bins and Then I started helping windy make pizza’s and I was answering the phones and taking phone orders. It was only Windy and I there so Rick never saw me do the last of the dishes, and when he came back there were new ones from the people in the dinning room. So after I had taken down the salad bar and was filling up a bin with ice for the salad bar Rick comes and hands me the phone I look at him like who the heck… and he replies its Neil (the boss). The first thing out of his mouth is “Richard said he told you to do the dishes 2 hours ago why didnt you” I told him I had been helping Windy and like a fucking stupid ass I forgot to say I did do them and there were more… I was caught off gaurd though Im not a quick thinker I sort of freaked out. But that right there pisses me off because Rick was alway saying how if he has a problem with some one he isnt afraid to let him know… the first problem he has he calls the boss and I had no clue what was going on WTF??? Then I finish filling up ice in the salad bar and go back to put away the bin I was using and notice that the hours that were posted when I had got there suddenly had somthing blacked out on it when I got close I realized 4 out of my 6 shifts were blacked out, I was pissed and Rick wasnt there and the hours I would get from those 2 days would only be 4 - 6 hours for the whole week… I had nothing to do so I started running a case of cheese through the grater Finally Rick came back with this attitude like hes the boss and I am being punished and says “some one else can do the cheese I have something specila for you” It was the greese trap which he told me has to be cleaned every 3 months, it had only been a month and a half since the last time and about 2 weeks before that he told me because he was mad at Carlos he was going to make hime do it… so I know he was just trying to be a jack ass but I said no so he sent me home. Then a little later he called my cell phone but it was in my room charging so I didnt hear it, but he left a message asking me where $180 was and acused me of accepting a customers check and not running it through the aproval machine… Which is funny because he knows damn well I never even used the cash register at all that night, I never opened it for anything… by the time I heard the message and called it was past midnight so of coarse no one was there so I called the boss and he said oh we figured it out we know it wasnt you… ok thanks for letting me know!

Then yesterday I went to get my check and Rick tried to tell me my check wasnt there and he didnt know where they were and he hadnt even got his… that sounds a bit fish to me… I better be able to get it today!

Today Johnny and I are going to look a a few tuxedos. I already have my dress. If you want to see picture of my ring, the roses he gave me or my dress go to our wedding website click here! Its not done yet but I will be adding new stuff daily so feel free to check it out or sign the guest book.

I also got my hair cut the lady didnt do it a short as I asked her and didnt layer it but it was late and I was tired so I didnt bother making a fuss about it… i may still get it cut shorter I will post a new cam pic of it.

I have got to do a better job of standing up for myself, I have repetedly told the manager at the pizza place that my wrist and hand keep getting worse and the sweeping, mopping and vacuuming I have to do when I close make it excruciating, he gave me one night where I wasnt closing and then tonight and tomorrow night I will have to close. I dont know how I will manage tonight its been killing me all day, and I am thinking of a way to avoid work all together infact the thought of how my hand will feel by the end of the night has me tempted to just quit. I am telling him tonight I cannot close tomorrow and if that means Im fired oh well… I am tired of having to wake up 4 or more times every night because my hand is killing me. Its gotten so bad that hot water and medicine dont make the pain go away any more.

Johnny and I went ring shopping today and I found the one I want, well technically its two, the main one is a 14k white gold ring with a full 1 carat colorless diamond in a tiffany setting for $5,400. The other is an accent ring that has 3 small diamonds clustered together to make a triangle on each side of the main diamond together they look so georgeous. I am trading my other diamonds in which will pay for about half of the cost of the new one plus Johnny will be paying $700 this next week. It wont be paid off until probably January or february but that is ok. I told my mom about and she mad about it and said we shouldnt be spending all that money on something like this and I need to worry about other things and that, I should use the old one from when Brandon and I got married, But this time I really do want to get married and I love Johnny and I think that I should have a special ring that represents that not a ring I had because of a failed marrige I had as a teenager. Maybe the price is alot but I love the ring and I wont have to settle for something else I will have the one I want, I will be wearing it for the rest of my life so I think it should be one I like. I think every woman should get the chance to have a ring she really loves and that means something to her.

Johnny and I also decided that I will get a perscription for progesterone and clomid when I go for my annual gyno appt. and start it the first week of november. Hopefully before then I can lose a few pounds.

I seriously am about to have a fucking break down… tonight was hell on a stick to say the least. My phone broke, I fucked up at work and since it was my fault I have to pay $90 out of the $100 I had left for grocerys so now eating for the next 2 weeks is out of the question. this seriously sucks, I probably seem like a pig at work or will get fired because I eat stuff there, which I know is bad but seriously I am so hungry my stomach hurts and I couldnt really function at work if I didnt eat something.

Brandon just told me that I owe over $1000 to my old insurance.

and when I really need johnny to give a flying fuck… he doesnt and I get snubbed.

my feet hurt, I am hungry and my eyes hurt from crying, and my damn wrist hurts.