its amazing how quickly a good mood or a good gesture can be twisted into something you did not intend. I try to do things for people as a surprise or somewhat unnoticed, because if i don’t do things for those I care about for recognition (there are exceptions) but little things here and there I do for the person not for me however it seems maybe I should stop this because almost every time it seems that it is made out to be something it is not… is their reaction hurting me… or am I just hurting myself? I felt so good all day so happy and excited… but now I feel like crying and a little guilty and frustrated… maybe I should have made my intension’s known and maybe i should just speak my mind and not keep everything inside.

I  always do that and now the one person I really wanted to talk to is mad at me… great.

I am so excited and also totally scared… I am excited because i could be pregnant… scared because what if I’m not? only a few more days…