OMG yea the damn divorce was canceled WTH. they could have just not let it be final until it was paid but we have to re-file I called though and they said that all my stuff is fine he just has to re-submit his shit… he said he cant for 2 weeks seriously some one shoot me PLEASE!!!! I am so pissed. he said he knew a few weeks ago… thanks for telling me (insert choice fraise here)! this means we wont be divorced until like December so Johnny and I cant get married until after that plus I just want this to be over… and the hassle I went through to get the bitch filed in the first place… I want to be totally done with this… with him, all of it I hated having it hanging over my head and was so relieved to have it done and now I’m back to square one only this time i can do nothing so if he screws around it could be God knows how long… I cant even begin to express my frustration right now.

Plus I have a friggin mess to clean up in the kitchen. I bought a 4 pack of tab and really i had no more energy than usual… plus I think i am going to have a $35 or several $35 fees because of insufficient funds i have nothing in the bank at all I cant afford the fees plus who wants to pay fees because of one effin day…? it will be in there the next day damn it!

Yesterday I was all excited at the possibility that the progesterone worked and maybe we would be having a baby soon and this has totally stomped on any excitement I had… which sucks I was all happy and excited and its nice to feel that way… it last like 3 minutes then I read the e-mail and bam… train wreck.

I ordered some cute pants from anthropologie… its expensive but I had the money at the time so I got them, I hope they look cute on me. I also ordered 5 more pairs of flip flops for me and 2 for Johnny… I now have all of the basic old navy flip flops besides white, because what is the point of a white flip flop they will be filthy in no time… he will have all but the olive green ones, only because they were out of that color in his size.

Even though all of this totally sucks I totally would be happy if Johnny and I were going to have a baby, we know we would get married if it weren’t for this shit and plan on it as soon as we can… and having a baby I really think would only be a good thing for us, it would defiantly be uplifting from this mess… the divorce and the dairy… the double d’s lol

Ok I am seriously ready to crash so i need to get my stuff done so i can sleep… hopefully ready to tackle the messes around here! Cross your fingers please!

Prikas other 2 babies were dead in the box yesterday morning… I wanted to cry and honestly I dont think even a vet could have saved them they were just to small and sick. She was looking for them and crying off and on through out the day I felt so bad for her so I called Johnny and asked him if there were any small kittens by the barn and he said there was one that needed to be fed better so I walked down and got him and brought him back. At first she didnt like him she smelled him and hissed but I set him down and when he would cry she would look and get more interested several times I got her to lay on her side and would put him by her so he could try to get milk and he would right away and she didn’t like that but after all that right now she has him and is curled up with him and feeding him, so that is good then she will have a baby still! His eyes are wide open her babies eyes kept getting icky and closing… he looks like an anime character with his big eyes lol.

I am so happy! I ordered a new cord for my laptop and we got it to come on so now I have back all my pictures and videos of Hannah as well as a bunch of other stuff of mine!

I have made a few updates around the site because of some good suggestions from reviews off of yoursite.nu. I am not totally done but I hope to get everything improved and fixed by tomorrow!

I decided today I didn’t really like the look of the new theme I am really proud of the vector but the layout was to green so I re vamped it and made the pea pod a little smaller and added a turquoise color to give it a little flair plus I didn’t like how the side bar was way up at the top… but now I think it looks great, still simple but a good simple not a boring blah look like before… let me know what you think!

Another kitten died today… and I cant take them to the vet because that costs money and I don’t get any until the first and at this rate they will all be dead by then… I want to cry I hate this so much I really don’t want the other 2 to die I can tell one of them is sick hopefully he will be ok though at the moment the other one seems to be ok. Prika doesn’t spend enough time feeding them and being with them we have to close her up with them and she cried to be let out… she just jumped up on the desk and when I put her down I could feel she is full of milk are the babies not eating??? I think tomorrow I will go get a kitten bottle and some kitten milk replacer and give that a try maybe that would help. I hope that the other 2 live!

The previous post was sort of unfair to Johnny most of that really was more about other people than him i should have been more clear about that…

Today was better I did some laundry, some dishes and disinfected the bathroom with a nice warm bucket of bleach water.

My body is playing tricks on me again… I ended my period on Sunday and today (Friday) my ovulation scope says I am ovulation or will be very soon… WTF that shouldn’t happen for at least another week. Damn it this sucks. Maybe the ovulation scope only works right for some people i have no clue but this annoys me. I am trying to check my tem and scope every day to chart any changes maybe there is a pattern or maybe my doctor could help me figure it out with the right info… who friggin knows but I am annoyed. I often wonder will I ever be a mommy?