There is so much I want to do, so much I need to do and I have been trying to take things one at a time. I am so indecisive too one minute I decide after a long debate that the plan will be “whatever I decided on” then later I change my mind… I am trying to cope with my inability to get pregnant… So I came up with this:I have decided that I need to do 25 things before trying to get pregnant again…

then I changed my mind… Damn it. The truth is I don’t want to stop trying to have a baby because if I do I would just be more upset because there isn’t even any hope of having a baby during that time… I don’t know what to do. I am not going to take any clomid or anything else to help me until I have Filed for divorce, finished my current text book in school, finished my two current knitting projects, pay 3 of my debts off, see a doctor, paint my mobile home, paint my bathroom, and paint my living room. Oh and sell everything I set aside to sell on ebay!!!
I am filing my damn papers tomorrow hopefully I am getting so fucking frustrated… I went yet again today and again couldn’t file which pissed me off to say the least, but thank God I the woman helped me by explaining a few things and highlighting things that I had missed so now I did all that made my copy’s and all I need is some info from Brandon and I should have no problem filing tomorrow!

I also have to go home and clean up my yard and I think while I am there I will grab everything or at least most of the stuff I need to list on ebay so I can be done with it already, I have so much stuff just waiting to be listed but I haven’t been able to do it. I do have a few things here that I intended on photographing tonight and listing because I am tired of it being in the way and cluttering the room.

Also my cat is pregnant… When she was supposed to get fixed she got into stuff and ate so she couldn’t go… and I never got around to making another appointment and she got out and now she is pregnant which sucks because in my county there is a new law that you can only let you pet have babies if you have a permit, and if you try to give them away via an ad in the newspaper you get a $500 fine what bullshit… my mom was saying that is good because now people will start fixing more pets… maybe a few but most of them will just dump the babies in an orchard somewhere because they can advertise or go anywhere to give them away…

I am so stressed out right now I could scream…

I hate when someone pisses you off and then is tells you they love you… saying it right after doesn’t make you any less an ass hole. Plus sometimes you need some time to be mad and work it out on your own, when I am ready things will be resolved…