I am so annoyed right now… today is lent which is not something I believe in but Johnny does… I fix him a big ass plate of spaghetti like he said he wanted when I asked… then his mom (who had seen me make and warm up 2 plates) comes in just as I’m bring it to him saying he cant eat meat because its lent… In my opinion I think God would rather that much food not be wasted but that’s just me… plus I really hate living with other people like this I cant wait to be on my own again at home or if I move my own place is a must… its none of anyone’s business what people in my damn house eat and I don’t need any one going in and tattling you know???

Also I am so frustrated I need some time with Johnny all to myself but that’s not going to happen and no matter how much I beg for certain things there is never enough time and I hate it. I need attention now but it doesn’t look like I will be getting that any time soon… I need some attention, love, something NOW!!!

I have been so much better lately but tonight I feel so sad I miss Hannah so much, I wish so badly that she could be here. I hate the feeling that I get, it’s a lonely painful feeling my whole body feels cold and I get the chills. I feel so empty and angry why is my child not here??? If she were would everything be right? I think it has a lot to do with the fact I put a few of my maternity clothes and baby things up for bid today, I hate to but I know I should. Its so hard getting rid of all this stuff I would rather be able to use it, I want to be able to tell everyone that “I’m pregnant” but I am no and at the moment I can’t do anything about it…

For those of you who requested my ebay items link here it is click

I wish Johnny would just wrap his arms around me and hold me close… but there is no time. I feel like screaming but I wont instead I will probably cry my eyes out but then I will probably feel better since it is a form of expression.

Also I haven’t heard back from Brandon all he had to do is sign the papers so hopefully he will give me a time so we can do this!

I have been awful about returning comments and updating my content and I am sorry and I do appreciate every comment I get and even if I don’t comment (usually because I don’t know what to say) I do check out everyone’s site who comments and read your latest blog entry if there is one! I have so much stuff to do and it feels like I will never get it all done… hopefully I am wrong! I added 3 new brush sets click here to see them. Please let me know what you think!

Ok I think I will finish up on here and get to bed… night all!