Mar 29
Sad
icon1 Janice | icon2 Drama, Family, Hannah, Johnny, Love, Random, Stress, Whatever, Work | icon4 03 29th, 2006| icon36 Comments »

I hate this I was fine all day I went to a movie with my Mom and Nathan (her other daughters son) which was nice… But certain things that go on in Nathan’s life make me sad however I am not going to say what because my family has been known to read my blog and then and whole mess gets started and a lot of shit talking demeaning, belittling and other nonsense goes on and I would prefer to avoid that… But it made me sad, It made me miss Hannah, I mean I always miss her but sometimes I get really emotional about it. I kept welling up the whole car ride home. I wish so badly that I could hold her and kiss her and run my fingers through her hair it just hurts that I cant.

In better news I made about $400 on ebay and that is all profit! that is nice I have somethings I really want to pay off!

Also tonight I was thinking and I already knew I loved Johnny but its so much more than that I dont know how to explain it. I want him to be the person I spend the rest of my life with, and have a family with I want to experience everything with him. I am so happy I have him in my life!

For those of you who requested my ebay items link here it is click this lt really works lol!

Mar 29
At the dairy there are a lot of cats most are strays people dump off, but any way a cat outside had her babies in the trash can outside, it sprinkling the Mom was soaked because it had just rained. I told Johnny I wanted to bring them in because its cold, and wet plus kittens out side tend to get eaten quickly … he said there are to many cats in the house already and that may be true but I don’t want them to be killed since I know that they exist and I can possibly save them i did i put all 5 in a box with the Mom and brought them in. when I set them down she (the mama cat) grabs one and tries to run out and keeps doing so I put her outside… I took her kittens and put it with the other mama cats inside and they cleaned them off and let them join the rest so that’s good. I feel bad for taking the babies from the poor Mom but it would be worse if they died right? I feel better knowing they are safe, warm and will be fed so did I do the right thing or should I not have added 5 kittens to they 8 already in the house? I know 13 is a lot but last time one of these mama cats had 10 by herself so with 13 I think the 2 of them can handle it they can each feed 8 at a time any way… Also Henita (the black and white one) could hear the new kittens outside crying and was by the door freaking out and crying to go out thinking they were hers and while I was getting them out she tried to get in and take one so the kittens will be taken care of 3 are already almost dry and nursing on Hena and the other 3 are still just cuddled up close to her getting warm and drying off so I think they will be fine … this is gross but one of the kittens still had its umbilical cord and placenta attached and Hena chewed it off and ate it which cats do with each baby they have so they were taken in right away…
Also I took some more pictures another one of mother and daughter cuddling together


and then this one of them together too only Hena’s tongue is out lol she was just laying like this for a while so I had to snap a picture becuase that is to funny!

EDIT/
About 10 minutes after I posted this I was feeling guilty for leaving the mom with no babies and went out side and the poor think was in the trash can where she had the babies looking around all sad so I thought I would give her another chance and got one of the older kittens (a loud one) and stood in the door way with it and sure enough she hopped out and follwed me to where I had a box for her and put the kitten in it and again she tried to take the kitten and leave so i took it form her and set it back in the box then I put her and make her lay down and the kitten started nursing on her so she stayed (thank God) after a while she heard the kittens from the other box so she got up and joined the other 2 mama cats and kittens… I honestly didnt think these cats liked each other… but after a few minutes of looks and sniffs they all layed down and got situated… and I snapped yet another crazy picture
/EDIT
Also I feel better about the situation here, its so hard to live like this. I hardly get to spend any time with Johnny and I get selfish sometimes when he comes in and should go right ti sleep I try to get him to stay awake a little longer so I can talk to him etc. I just wish we had a little more time to be together. I told him how I felt and we talked and he told me how he felt which is about the same. Right now this is how it is but hopefully soon it will change, we have no privacy and no space and his Mom always calling when were out and getting in our business I feel like a teenager again and I hate it! I just want things to change and slowly they have been … thank God. I just want to know if were moving or not and I want to be with Johnny without everyone else around…
Mar 25
So cute
icon1 Janice | icon2 Random, Whatever, pictures | icon4 03 25th, 2006| icon314 Comments »

OMG last night was crazy! First of all Hena (henita’s mother) got in the box and layed with henita and started grooming Henita and her 4 kittens for about 2 hours and I knew she would be having her babies soon so i just sort of watched them and kept the box by me. After a while Hena got up and when I looked she had stolen one of Henita babies and was trying to take it in the clothset with her (where she had her babies last time) but i stopped her and put the baby back and she followed me and layed back down with the other cats… then a little later she did the same thing… and the cute part is…

Hena is the calico. They are still together although I found a bigger box and at the moment Hena also has 4 kittens although she still looks pregnant and it looks like there are more…

I don’t know what the deal is but photo shop is not working it refuses to open, uninstall, or reinstall and its starting to piss me off I normally use Paint shop pro but sometimes I like to use photo shop and now that I am into digital scrapbooking I like photo shop better and of coarse now it wont work… it figures!

Mar 25

I am so annoyed right now… today is lent which is not something I believe in but Johnny does… I fix him a big ass plate of spaghetti like he said he wanted when I asked… then his mom (who had seen me make and warm up 2 plates) comes in just as I’m bring it to him saying he cant eat meat because its lent… In my opinion I think God would rather that much food not be wasted but that’s just me… plus I really hate living with other people like this I cant wait to be on my own again at home or if I move my own place is a must… its none of anyone’s business what people in my damn house eat and I don’t need any one going in and tattling you know???

Also I am so frustrated I need some time with Johnny all to myself but that’s not going to happen and no matter how much I beg for certain things there is never enough time and I hate it. I need attention now but it doesn’t look like I will be getting that any time soon… I need some attention, love, something NOW!!!

I have been so much better lately but tonight I feel so sad I miss Hannah so much, I wish so badly that she could be here. I hate the feeling that I get, it’s a lonely painful feeling my whole body feels cold and I get the chills. I feel so empty and angry why is my child not here??? If she were would everything be right? I think it has a lot to do with the fact I put a few of my maternity clothes and baby things up for bid today, I hate to but I know I should. Its so hard getting rid of all this stuff I would rather be able to use it, I want to be able to tell everyone that “I’m pregnant” but I am no and at the moment I can’t do anything about it…

For those of you who requested my ebay items link here it is click

I wish Johnny would just wrap his arms around me and hold me close… but there is no time. I feel like screaming but I wont instead I will probably cry my eyes out but then I will probably feel better since it is a form of expression.

Also I haven’t heard back from Brandon all he had to do is sign the papers so hopefully he will give me a time so we can do this!

I have been awful about returning comments and updating my content and I am sorry and I do appreciate every comment I get and even if I don’t comment (usually because I don’t know what to say) I do check out everyone’s site who comments and read your latest blog entry if there is one! I have so much stuff to do and it feels like I will never get it all done… hopefully I am wrong! I added 3 new brush sets click here to see them. Please let me know what you think!

Ok I think I will finish up on here and get to bed… night all!

« Previous Entries